When it rains, the lights go out??

Today started out just ducky... then it got even better... NOT!!!!!!!!

To begin with, I started a new medication last night, so I spent the night sick. Sick, sick, sick, as in me getting up over and over. Ughhhh. Not to mention that I've now had a headache since yesterday afternoon. :(

I finally got a little bit of sleep and then my doorbell rang at 7:30 or so. The babies were here after not seeing them all week! Yeah, and they were perfect until their vehicle pulled into my driveway, then the pukius maxiumus factor kicked in. Poor Mom - her nice pinstriped suit, both babies, both babies' carseats, the car seat their carseats rested upon - everything - covered in their breakfast. Ewwww. So Mom got a roll of paper towels from me and got the worst of it off everyone, then turned around and went right back home. So 4 days of no babies - I'm not sure what to think here. It's been nice, but I sure do miss those tiny ones!!

Then I got a call from Hannah's dad - they were going to be here late. Well, by that time I was awake. :( No going back to sleep for me. I was WIDE awake by then. So off to the computer to check emails. :) And check blogs...

So Hannah came and we chilled for a while, then went to take a nap. Woke up around 2pm and around 3pm, the storms started. I unplugged the laptop, just in case the weather got bad, and then called Oma on my cell. While we were chatting, the power frizzled and then went out entirely. OH NO!!! It was dark in the house, and we couldn't see anything because it was DARK in the house, but thankfully, the laptop had a full charge. My network was down, but I could still play solitaire. Yay, me!!

4pm came and went - I'm now thankful for my Amish heritage, because all those vacations with Amish relatives help me not to freak out too bad at sitting in the dark. But for the first time that I could recall, I really was longing for some good old kerosene to put into all the lamps I have sitting around the house so we could see to read!

5pm came and went, my laptop battery died because some lame-o (me) decided to play some tunes because it was so quiet in here, and it drained the battery.

6pm - Hannah went home. Peter sprawled across the couch and I tried my bestest to read a magazine - not very easy in the dark. Arghhh!

7pm - I gave up on even thinking of cooking anything, because I'm not very good at rubbing sticks together to start a fire to cook over. Besides, it rained and everything's wet anyway. Grrr. So Domino's it is. We began eating in the dark - can you say FUN?? - and around 7:30, the wonderful folks from Huntsville Utilities restored our power!!! YAYYYYY, we're back to civilization!!!

I feel SO privileged to be able to walk into a room and just flip the switch for instantaneous light. Not to mention air conditioning. And the radio. And my computer.

Moral of the story - We are a very coddled society. The things that we take for granted can really put a crimp in our lives when they're not there. I'm thankful for the conveniences we have, but I'm even more thankful for resourcefulness and the ability to take life as it comes and just roll with it.

Oh, and I'm thankful for the fact that although I'm half blind in one eye and can't see very well out of the other, my eyes are still good enough to allow me to read by candle light. :D

My poor babies...

I had a free day yesterday - the baby was sick so her Mommy took off and kept both girls home, and Meg was off too, so Hannah stayed home with her. I got loads and loads of stuff accomplished, so that feels great!

Then early this morning, I got another call - Amber's sick now. So I only have Hannah today. Nice to spend some one on one time with my big girl, but I feel sorry for my sick babies. Apparently there's some sort of 24 hour bug floating around and they just happened to pick it up over the weekend.

Although it gets a bit crazy around here sometimes, I still miss them a lot when they're not here for a while. So those of you who can pray, please pray that the babies will get well and not start passing this bug back and forth between them. Thanks!

Now I'm off to get things done - actually made a list last night. Now to see if I can check everything off. :)

Beautiful

I posted photos of this LO last week, but I finally took the time to hook the scanner up so I could upload a decent photo to share. The stitching is bad - sorry about that, but it's a lot better than the picture I took with my digi. :)


The photo is blurry - it was originally that way, too, but something in the expression on her face just grabbed me. It's like you can see straight into her soul. I just HAD to create a layout featuring this beautiful young lady. Love ya, girlie!!
Paper: Basic Grey
Cardstock: Bazzill
Hinges: Making Memories
Ribbon: Stampin' Up!
Pen: Creative Memories





This is what lies behind the photo - hidden journaling. I really enjoyed creating this page, and I hope you enjoy it.

Paperstickyfoldystuff!!

I've been stressing over these swaps that I'd signed up for, so today I have done nothing but work on these, with a couple of computer breaks. I pulled out a bunch of books, including last year's Stampin' Up catalog and the new one. I found some inspiration and cranked out twenty-three cards. It feels so good to actually work with my paperstickyfoldystuff without any interruptions except nourishment and powder room breaks. :) With my coffee by my side, I feel good about today's accomplishments.

Inspiration:

PaperCrafts & Stamp It! The Ultimate Paper Crafts Collection

Inspiration:

The Joy of Cardmaking: A Second Helping

Cool thing about this card is that I used mini glue dots and heat embossed them with gold embossing powder to create faux brads. Pretty neat technique! Thank you to the ladies on the CMK forums for the idea. :)


Inspiration:

Stampin' Up! Idea Book & Catalog 2005-2006

The one thing that makes me most proud is that I used stamps on ALL of these cards. Two new sets that I've never used, and I got to play with my SU! Stamp & Write Markers for the first time in a long time. Yay me!

What Sesame Street Character Are You?

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

What flavor Frappucino are you?

Caramel Frappuccino

Creative and expressive, you tend to match your Frappuccino flavor to your mood. And a flavored syrup is always a must!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

Five Things Meme

Picked up from Flora's blog. Feel free to keep it going on your own blog! :)

5 Things in my Refrigerator:
1. soy milk
2. salsa
3. watermelon
4. salad
5. yogurt


5 Things in My Closet:
1. Clothes
2. Shoes
3. puzzles
4. extra pillows
5. extra blankets


5 Things in My Purse:
1. lip gloss
2. Post It notes
3. change purse
4. lotion
5. camera & extra film


5 Things in My Car:
1. 3 car seats
2. tool box
3. old Avon books (the girls' favorite "toys"!)
4. cell phone charger
5. extra diapers

Cause for Celebration

Before you laugh at my total lack of domesticity, let me first say that all my adult life, my idea of great mac & cheese was the kind with the creamy cheese packet that comes in a blue box.

The past few days, I've been looking through some cookbooks, as we have decided that it's much healthier for us, and more economical to limit our dining out to once or twice a week, versus every day. For over a year, we've been eating out way too much and there have been months that my stove was never even turned on!! Sad, I know, but with Peter working as much as 110-hour weeks, it was just quicker and easier.

Anyway, the past couple of weeks, I've been cooking more. Let me just say that I absolutely LOVE my crockpot! I have a 1 1/2 quart one and a 6 quart one, both with a removable insert. These things are WONDERFUL!!! Not to mention that the house doesn't heat up when you use the crock-pot.

So this morning, I was looking through a cookbook for some neat meal ideas and found an easy, simple recipe for macaroni & cheese. As Peter was going to the store for some groceries anyway, I asked him to pick up a couple of things that I needed to make the dish. He's a BIG fan of mac & cheese, so of course, he was more than willing.

So today, I made my first ever homemade macaroni & cheese!!! It took just a little bit of time, and it turned out WONDERFUL!!! Now why on Earth have I never made it before??? I think absolutely nothing of making all these semi-gourmet meals that involve loads of time, but something so simple, I've been making from a box!! So today I vow that I will strive to NEVER buy boxed side dishes until I've tried making them from scratch at home.

Here's what my finished dish looks like:

Why are packages so hard to open?

Not that I have even tried yet, but I'm SO excited and can't wait to open this package!!! Heidi Swapp is one of my favorite designers and it just so happens that there's an incredible kit available only at Costco. A dear friend of mine picked one up for me, and I just almost can't wait to tear into it!! Here's a few photos of all the goodies in it, but I'm making myself finish some swap stuffies before I open it to play. :) Enjoy!

So Cute

As I was sitting here this afternoon, I hear a sweet baby giggle. I looked over at Mazie and she'd finally discovered the mirror in her exersaucer. She'd lean way back, then lean up real close to look at herself and then she'd giggle. She did it over an over, and the more she giggled, the more I giggled at her. Thank goodness for digital cameras! I was able to get a few really cute shots of her. Enjoy!





I can SO see a LO with these too cute photos! Here's a few more cute pics of her. As you can probably tell, she was in a GREAT mood today. :)

Southern Rules

*Snagged*

If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules.

1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.

4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.

8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a lot of water.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed.
We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.

14. We don't do "hurry up" well.

15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. ! You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.

16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim) and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstate 65 goes two ways - Interstate 40 goes the other two.
Pick one.

18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want Cream of Wheat - go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.

19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.

20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseba! ll players.

22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.

25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. And no, down here, we don't have an accent, you do. But we know you're glad to be here!

Think you know me?

I enjoyed Vanessa's quiz so well that I went and set one up for myself. If you think you know me, here's your chance to prove it! If you play, please post a comment and let me know how well you did. And if you set up your own quiz, please post the link so I can play too! :)

So you think you know me? Take my quiz! Take This Quiz | See Scores | Make Own Quiz

Finished a layout!!

This is the CASE of the layout in MM that I've been working on. It didn't turn out quite like I wanted it to, but I really like the finished layout. I'll scan it in when I get the time, but here's a quick photo of it. :) The bottom photo is the hidden journaling behind the photo.

Self torture

A few months ago, I said I would NEVER do this to myself again, yet here I am doing it all over. I signed up for some scrappy swaps on a couple of groups, and now I'm frantically trying to remember exactly WHY I felt the need to do so!!

I got three spots finished tonight - much to the dismay of my aching wrists, I'm sure. I hope they pass muster. Two were easy spots, one was to make two HM items using a new technique I learned recently. So I made tags - which I almost never use - using blue flicky photo mounting tabs and embossing powder. I think they ended up ok - not anything to write home about, but ok. The matting is green, the embossing is gold on black, the ribbon is gold and the flower is red. I just hope the lady these go to will enjoy them. :)


I now have only nine more spots to complete, three of which are cards - not just one card, but multiple cards for each spot. Also recipe pages. Arghhh! Why on earth did I do this? I'm gonna try to get it all worked out in the next few days so I can get back to my first love - scrapbooking. All these wonderful photos and papers are just calling out to me, and I desperately would like to heed their call. If I ever do this again, would you please just tell me NO?

Happy Weekend!

Had a rather full day today. Woke up sorta early and spent some time with my sweet husband. We did nothing around the house, just chilled out and enjoyed being together for the first time in a long while. :) It was nice to not be so busy for a change. We both needed some downtime after the hectic week we've had.

Bad thing is that my legs have started cramping if I sit the wrong way, move the wrong way, whatever. So I get this really bad cramp today on the inside of my leg just above my knee, and it wrapped halfway around the front of my leg and went down into my calf. The more I tried to walk, the worse it got. Poor Peter tried to help me by kneading the muscle, and the whole time I was yelling and crying. Now I've had three babies, and I'd take labor any day over the pain this cramp was giving me!! It was THAT bad. After about five minutes of agony it finally became bearable as long as I lay on my side in the fetal position, and even now it's trying to start back up. I need prayer, folks! LOL

Anyway, we met Lori and her girls at Beauregard's for lunch - YUM!! Then we made a trip to the farmers' market. Oh, yeah! Fresh veggies and a watermelon - now we're talkin'! :) Came home and scrapbooked with Lori while Peter went to the laundromat and the grocery store (did I mention I really love this man?), and Flo came over for the evening.

I'm now chilling out checking blogs and my email, and am looking at a lovely (almost) empty desktop. I got two 8x8" pages completed, which I'll share as soon as Lori gets them scanned in.

I also saw a layout in the new Memory Makers magazine last night and decided to CASE it. It's 12x12", and I'm using Basic Grey Fusion PP and Bazzill CS. I've got it almost finished - and it's a huge step outside my box. I actually did hidden journaling, attaching a photo with hinges and putting the journaling under it. I'm gonna go looking for a few more photos to go on the underside of the flap, and I have to do the title yet. I think I'm going to use a combination of Coluzzle, QuicKuts and rubons to make it complete. I will most definately scan it in when I'm finished and share it, as I'm VERY proud of it. Faithy, on the other hand, may not be so happy. Oh, well. Gotta love her anyway. LOL

Now I'm gonna finish my "soy white chocolate latte with a shot of caramel, no whip" and wander off in the darkness to seek my bed and read the remainder of the MM magazine so I can find something else to inspire me. Toodles!!

Pot of Gold?

I'm seeing the light at the end of the rainbow... I'm almost finished organizing my scrap space!! I never realized just how much stuff I had until I tried to find a spot for it all. :o I should be able to post photos of my space sometime tomorrow. :) It's not exactly the way I had hoped - I think perhaps I'll have to add another row of cubes, but it's all good. I've got three more boxes to sort out and then I can take the card table down and close up the armoire so the little hands can't play with the buttons on the computer. :) I'm SO excited here!!! To have a space where I can play and be creative whenever the mood strikes is exhilarating to me!! For now, I'm gonna head to bed, as I'm one tired puppy and my babies will be here in roughly 6 1/2 hours. :)

For you scrapbookers...

If any local scrapbookers would like to attend a crop, please leave me a comment! I'm the organizer for a once a month crop at a local scrapbook store, and we'd love to get some new ladies to come. :)

I also would like to issue a challenge - if you haven't scrapped a page in a month or more, just bite the bullet and scrap something!! I've seen some awesome photos on some of your blogs, which would be wonderful for scrapbooking. Let's get these memories in books so our families and loved ones can enjoy them. :)

Chill, already!

For those of you (and you KNOW who you are) that keep wanting me to send pics of my new scrap area, just "haep da hussah" I'll post them when it's finished!!! Not a second before!! And don't even think about stopping in to see what's going on now - I'll shut the door and lock it!!

It's a surprise! Oh, and one of these days (hopefully sooner than later), when our house is all lovely and we've done all the painting, tweaking, decorating and decluttering, I plan to set up a Saturday crop here!! Oh, and I "MIGHT" even make some homemade lasagna. I'll ask for RSVP's later. :D

Relaxation!

After a dry spell and a bad case of "scrapblock", and a couple of months of not really being able to access my scrappy stuff because my space wasn't functional at all, I finally got to sit down and scrap tonight!

We've moved our office/playroom/scraproom all around so that I can have a scrap area, which is sorta like a cubicle. I can now sit at my desk and watch the children play right in front of me. :) It's great!! We're not quite finished with moving everything around, but I found it absolutely wonderful tonight to be able to sit in my chair and just swivel around to reach all of my things. I even used my new QuicKuts tonight! I've had it for probably six weeks and never used it.

The funny thing about the layout I did tonight was that I've had the papers and colors picked out and in a page kit for months, and when I sat down tonight to actually scrap it, the colors seemed all wrong! So I got this luscious Rob & Bob paper out and found the perfect Bazzill to match it and I love the result. It's got colors I normally don't use together, but I think a bit more orange and brown are in my future. LOL

Here's what I got accomplished tonight:




These photos don't do it justice. I'll upload scanned photos as soon as I get my scanner hooked back up. :)

Text reads: My Twin and I - There is a saying that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. Most people never meet their twin, but it seems that you can almost create a twin by dressing just alike. here, in all their glory are the twins and mini-me's from the Church of God at Westlawn. Spring 2005

Sleep? What's that?

Have you ever been so tired you almost forget to breathe? So tired that you get nauseated and your body just seems to want to close in on itself? If so, then you know how I feel.

I've gotten somewhere around 8 or 9 hours of sleep in the past two nights. I don't do well with lack of sleep. My body requires a minimum of 8 hours sleep a night to be able to function and think rationally. It's been virtually impossible lately for me to meet that need. Peter goes to work at a weird time, so I end up staying up far too late, trying to have some "me time". Then I'm back up at 7:20 to get my babies. I don't often get to lay back down, although I wish I could. :(

Last night we were up until almost 3:00 a.m., then got the babies at 7:30 a.m., and we were on the go all day, so no naps for any of us except Mazie. Hopefully tonight, we'll be able to eat supper and go to bed early. That's probably wishful dreaming, since we've got the computer armoire all put together and ready to put in the office. Perhaps my honey can be convinced to wait to move it until tomorrow.
We did enjoy the day and our visit with our Morgan City family. :) Thanks for letting us drop in! :) Always enjoy visiting and spending time with y'all. We also got lots of stuff accomplished that really has been needing to be done, so I suppose the lack of sleep was worth it after all.

CMK Blog Challenge

1. Tell Me Why your blog is named what it is.
I wanted something that was out of the ordinary, and when I created my blog, I was very sick, so sick that I didn't really want to be conscious. Therefore, the Other Side of Reality was born. :)

2. Tell me one person you admire as a scrapper/artist and why.
I can't just choose one...
First there's Tanya! She creates some of the most incredible work I've ever seen.
Also Lindsey because her layouts are simply mouthwatering.
Both of these ladies inspire me to keep stepping out of my comfort zone and do new techniques and come up with new ideas.

3. What is one thing you've never tried on a layout or project that you'd like to try? I want to use dimensional glaze or UTEE on a layout. I have both, just haven't used them yet.

4. What is your favorite time of year to scrap and why?
Year round, really. I prefer the Spring, though, if I have to choose. I'm in a slump at the moment and really want to scrap, just don't have the mojo at the moment.

5. List 2 other people's scrappy blogs that you enjoy reading and post a link to them!!

Scrap Etc.

One Page At A Time

Murphy's at it again...

Why does it always seem that when there's something special you want to do, something either comes up or happens to keep you from actually doing it? Today, I really wanted to go to a Stampin' Up! show at my friend's house, and I woke up feeling ukky. Headache with nausea, and severe edema in my feet. Eyes are swollen from allergies. Oh, joy. So I spent my day alternating 15 minutes of work in my kitchen at a time and taking a break to put my feet up. Took two naps and STILL have a sick headache. Light makes it hurt worse but I have to see to do the things I have to do.

I am going through scrapbook withdrawals - that's my relaxation and "therapy". It's "me" time and lets me be as creative as my mind wanders and reminisces. Right now my scrap space is really not functional, so we went to buy a computer armoire tonight and as soon as we get it together and get Peter's computer moved over, we'll rearrange the room so that the girls will have more space to play in and I will have a dedicated scrap area. The armoire has a lock on the door, which is a very good thing, considering that I have an 18mo that likes to push buttons and a tiny one that's almost ready to start crawling. Hopefully mid-week next week I'll be able to sit down and actually start working on the piles of photos that I've got stacked up waiting to be scrapped. :) A girl can dream, right?

To totally change the subject: Did you know that if you've got three babies in the same room and one is crying like her heart is broken, it causes a domino effect and you end up with crying in stereo? That happened yesterday. Savannah was here for a couple of hours, and she cried and cried (they woke her up to bring her in), and she woke the baby up, so I brought her in to put her in the swing while I held Savannah. I had to run to the little room so I put Savannah on the floor, and she got more upset, and caused Amber to start crying! Wow - three babies all crying at the same time - NOT fun!! The chaos and clamor woke Hannah up, and she was grumpy. In the midst of it all, my WONDERFUL Mom showed up!! She took Savannah and got her calmed down, and before they left, all three older girls were in the floor playing together. They were SO cute...


Savannah playing with Valerie's (aka Mazie Mo) toys


I was at the computer when I turned around and saw Amber on top of Hannah. I just HAD to get a pic of them! Too cute, huh? :)

Can

I've seen this on several other blogs, but it's been on my mind all day and I wanted to share it with people who haven't seen it yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg

*disclaimer* some skin showing on this, as the dad is wearing a swim suit. Very touching, though.

Sorta makes you put everything into perspective, doesn't it? To learn more, go to http://www.teamhoyt.com/.

Happy me!

White Chocolate Mocha
with a shot of caramel syrup and no whip

+

Starbucks® Blueberry Muffin

=

Total indulgence & complete satisfaction

(Thank you, Peter - you are the bestest!!!)

Definition of a name...

Ok, I am not sure how happy I am to have been dubbed "Nene" by Hannah, as I decided to Google the definition. Somehow, I was hoping it to be some sort of Aunt or honorary title for a woman, and instead I found this:

ne·ne (nn) KEY NOUN:
A rare wild goose (Branta sandvicensis) of the Hawaiian Islands, having a grayish-brown body with a black face. Also called Hawaiian goose .
ETYMOLOGY: Hawaiian nn, imitative of its cry

I most definately am NOT a goose, however, I would like to think I'm rare. I don't think the world could handle more than one of me. LOL So now we need to work on another name for me. Think it'll ever happen? Nah - guess I'm stuck with it. I'll just have to start acting a bit more goose-y. :D

My melted heart

When you're having a tough moment, kids seem to have a peculiar way of knowing just what to do and say to comfort you.

Case in point: Yesterday, Hannah and I were chilling on the couch for a few. I was so tired and just blah - no energy for anything. She came up to me and gave me a hug and said "Nene, I love you. You're my best heart." Now where on earth did THAT come from?? I've never heard anyone other than her say it just that way, and I think it's simply adorable. What could I say back to her, other than "Hannah, I love you, and you're my best heart too"?

What on earth would I do without this wonderful, giving, loving, adorable child in my life? I'm honored to be her "daytime mommy". I am so thankful to have this child in my life!!

Reminder to myself

Although I am tired and lethargic, I am profoundly thankful for many constants in my life. I am blessed so much.

I am thankful for (in no particular order, except #1):

1. The most wonderful husband a woman could ever dream of.

2. A beautiful home - a blank canvas to work on and create a nest for ourselves.

3. Family who loves me, even when we're in disagreement.

4. Three beautiful little girls who spend every day with me - I may get stressed and tired, but they're still my heart.

5. Friends who will listen to me and offer a shoulder to cry on, along with help and encouragement when things get tough.

6. My Mom. I'm thankful that she's still healthy and able to do all the things she does.

7. My sister by choice who allows me to be her child's "Daytime Mommy", and who acknowledges Peter and I as her daughter's other set of parents. And the fact that she appreciates the morals & education that I'm instilling in her child.

8. Creativity. I can take simple materials - paper, photos, adhesive and create a memory on paper to share with those around me.

9. Books: My constant companion since I learned to read at six years old. They go everywhere with me and allow me to escape to far lands and exotic locales without ever leaving my home.

10. Life: By rights, I should have died long ago. I'm thankful that a praying Mom and the Saints never forgot about me, and God allowed me to live and that I'm here today. :)

Awakening from a bad dream

Wow, things have turned out so very differently than I had thought. A lot of old memories and feelings were dredged up this afternoon in an intervention session. I've come to realize that life's too short to be miserable, and that I'm profoundly thankful for the wonderful husband that I've been blessed with.

I get to keep my babies, and hopefully will be able to be a blessing and a help while others get their act together. Apparently it's really hard to break old habits and to ask for help when things get tough. We will make it through if we all help each other and work together for the common good.

Those who can pray, please continue to do so. I fear that someone's sanity may lie in the balance, and that is NOT a good place to be in. When thoughts of just saying goodbye to this earth start creeping in, it's a sign that things need to change and in a very definate way. Sometimes you just have to eliminate those factors in your life that cause you to doubt your very existance and reason for being.

I feel loved and appreciated today, and am glad that I can use my past experiences (no matter how much it hurts to relive them through the telling) to help someone else and to let them know that I've been in their shoes. It will get better. :)

Ever feel like the dog??

It's just one of those days.....

Sitting on pins & needles

Have you ever had to do something that made you sorta feel sick inside, but made you feel good at the same time because you knew it wass the right thing to do? I did that this morning. I gave a two page letter to someone detailing the changes that need to be made if I'm going to stay in her and her children's lives. It made me queasy, not knowing how the outcome is going to be, but at the same time, it liberated me because I know that no matter how it turns out, I'm doing what I need to do for my health and my family's health. If I'm stressed, I get sick - even now I'm finding it hard to do anything. I can't do very much without having to sit down. I feel the weakness and lethargy creeping in by the day. I do not want to end up in the hospital again, and I feel sure that those around me who love and appreciate me will not allow it to continue, even if I don't have the guts to break the connection. I love the babies, but is the stress worth having them here? Those of you who can pray, please do. I sit here dreading the outcome this evening, and I'm going to be here by myself. Perhaps I can ask my honey to come home for the brief window that she'll be here to pick up her children this afternoon. Don't want to be here alone to catch the fallout. Why do we sit back and allow people who are toxic to our souls to just wallow in our lives and create so much misery? Maybe some day I'll be strong enough to completely cut it off at the pass.