This is the CASE of the layout in MM that I've been working on. It didn't turn out quite like I wanted it to, but I really like the finished layout. I'll scan it in when I get the time, but here's a quick photo of it. :) The bottom photo is the hidden journaling behind the photo.
Housewife, Mom, crafter, foodie, sharing a small window into my world, and my love of food with others.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Self torture
A few months ago, I said I would NEVER do this to myself again, yet here I am doing it all over. I signed up for some scrappy swaps on a couple of groups, and now I'm frantically trying to remember exactly WHY I felt the need to do so!!
I got three spots finished tonight - much to the dismay of my aching wrists, I'm sure. I hope they pass muster. Two were easy spots, one was to make two HM items using a new technique I learned recently. So I made tags - which I almost never use - using blue flicky photo mounting tabs and embossing powder. I think they ended up ok - not anything to write home about, but ok. The matting is green, the embossing is gold on black, the ribbon is gold and the flower is red. I just hope the lady these go to will enjoy them. :)
I now have only nine more spots to complete, three of which are cards - not just one card, but multiple cards for each spot. Also recipe pages. Arghhh! Why on earth did I do this? I'm gonna try to get it all worked out in the next few days so I can get back to my first love - scrapbooking. All these wonderful photos and papers are just calling out to me, and I desperately would like to heed their call. If I ever do this again, would you please just tell me NO?
I got three spots finished tonight - much to the dismay of my aching wrists, I'm sure. I hope they pass muster. Two were easy spots, one was to make two HM items using a new technique I learned recently. So I made tags - which I almost never use - using blue flicky photo mounting tabs and embossing powder. I think they ended up ok - not anything to write home about, but ok. The matting is green, the embossing is gold on black, the ribbon is gold and the flower is red. I just hope the lady these go to will enjoy them. :)
I now have only nine more spots to complete, three of which are cards - not just one card, but multiple cards for each spot. Also recipe pages. Arghhh! Why on earth did I do this? I'm gonna try to get it all worked out in the next few days so I can get back to my first love - scrapbooking. All these wonderful photos and papers are just calling out to me, and I desperately would like to heed their call. If I ever do this again, would you please just tell me NO?
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Happy Weekend!
Had a rather full day today. Woke up sorta early and spent some time with my sweet husband. We did nothing around the house, just chilled out and enjoyed being together for the first time in a long while. :) It was nice to not be so busy for a change. We both needed some downtime after the hectic week we've had.
Bad thing is that my legs have started cramping if I sit the wrong way, move the wrong way, whatever. So I get this really bad cramp today on the inside of my leg just above my knee, and it wrapped halfway around the front of my leg and went down into my calf. The more I tried to walk, the worse it got. Poor Peter tried to help me by kneading the muscle, and the whole time I was yelling and crying. Now I've had three babies, and I'd take labor any day over the pain this cramp was giving me!! It was THAT bad. After about five minutes of agony it finally became bearable as long as I lay on my side in the fetal position, and even now it's trying to start back up. I need prayer, folks! LOL
Anyway, we met Lori and her girls at Beauregard's for lunch - YUM!! Then we made a trip to the farmers' market. Oh, yeah! Fresh veggies and a watermelon - now we're talkin'! :) Came home and scrapbooked with Lori while Peter went to the laundromat and the grocery store (did I mention I really love this man?), and Flo came over for the evening.
I'm now chilling out checking blogs and my email, and am looking at a lovely (almost) empty desktop. I got two 8x8" pages completed, which I'll share as soon as Lori gets them scanned in.
I also saw a layout in the new Memory Makers magazine last night and decided to CASE it. It's 12x12", and I'm using Basic Grey Fusion PP and Bazzill CS. I've got it almost finished - and it's a huge step outside my box. I actually did hidden journaling, attaching a photo with hinges and putting the journaling under it. I'm gonna go looking for a few more photos to go on the underside of the flap, and I have to do the title yet. I think I'm going to use a combination of Coluzzle, QuicKuts and rubons to make it complete. I will most definately scan it in when I'm finished and share it, as I'm VERY proud of it. Faithy, on the other hand, may not be so happy. Oh, well. Gotta love her anyway. LOL
Now I'm gonna finish my "soy white chocolate latte with a shot of caramel, no whip" and wander off in the darkness to seek my bed and read the remainder of the MM magazine so I can find something else to inspire me. Toodles!!
Bad thing is that my legs have started cramping if I sit the wrong way, move the wrong way, whatever. So I get this really bad cramp today on the inside of my leg just above my knee, and it wrapped halfway around the front of my leg and went down into my calf. The more I tried to walk, the worse it got. Poor Peter tried to help me by kneading the muscle, and the whole time I was yelling and crying. Now I've had three babies, and I'd take labor any day over the pain this cramp was giving me!! It was THAT bad. After about five minutes of agony it finally became bearable as long as I lay on my side in the fetal position, and even now it's trying to start back up. I need prayer, folks! LOL
Anyway, we met Lori and her girls at Beauregard's for lunch - YUM!! Then we made a trip to the farmers' market. Oh, yeah! Fresh veggies and a watermelon - now we're talkin'! :) Came home and scrapbooked with Lori while Peter went to the laundromat and the grocery store (did I mention I really love this man?), and Flo came over for the evening.
I'm now chilling out checking blogs and my email, and am looking at a lovely (almost) empty desktop. I got two 8x8" pages completed, which I'll share as soon as Lori gets them scanned in.
I also saw a layout in the new Memory Makers magazine last night and decided to CASE it. It's 12x12", and I'm using Basic Grey Fusion PP and Bazzill CS. I've got it almost finished - and it's a huge step outside my box. I actually did hidden journaling, attaching a photo with hinges and putting the journaling under it. I'm gonna go looking for a few more photos to go on the underside of the flap, and I have to do the title yet. I think I'm going to use a combination of Coluzzle, QuicKuts and rubons to make it complete. I will most definately scan it in when I'm finished and share it, as I'm VERY proud of it. Faithy, on the other hand, may not be so happy. Oh, well. Gotta love her anyway. LOL
Now I'm gonna finish my "soy white chocolate latte with a shot of caramel, no whip" and wander off in the darkness to seek my bed and read the remainder of the MM magazine so I can find something else to inspire me. Toodles!!
Friday, July 28, 2006
Pot of Gold?
I'm seeing the light at the end of the rainbow... I'm almost finished organizing my scrap space!! I never realized just how much stuff I had until I tried to find a spot for it all. :o I should be able to post photos of my space sometime tomorrow. :) It's not exactly the way I had hoped - I think perhaps I'll have to add another row of cubes, but it's all good. I've got three more boxes to sort out and then I can take the card table down and close up the armoire so the little hands can't play with the buttons on the computer. :) I'm SO excited here!!! To have a space where I can play and be creative whenever the mood strikes is exhilarating to me!! For now, I'm gonna head to bed, as I'm one tired puppy and my babies will be here in roughly 6 1/2 hours. :)
Thursday, July 27, 2006
For you scrapbookers...
If any local scrapbookers would like to attend a crop, please leave me a comment! I'm the organizer for a once a month crop at a local scrapbook store, and we'd love to get some new ladies to come. :)
I also would like to issue a challenge - if you haven't scrapped a page in a month or more, just bite the bullet and scrap something!! I've seen some awesome photos on some of your blogs, which would be wonderful for scrapbooking. Let's get these memories in books so our families and loved ones can enjoy them. :)
I also would like to issue a challenge - if you haven't scrapped a page in a month or more, just bite the bullet and scrap something!! I've seen some awesome photos on some of your blogs, which would be wonderful for scrapbooking. Let's get these memories in books so our families and loved ones can enjoy them. :)
Chill, already!
For those of you (and you KNOW who you are) that keep wanting me to send pics of my new scrap area, just "haep da hussah" I'll post them when it's finished!!! Not a second before!! And don't even think about stopping in to see what's going on now - I'll shut the door and lock it!!
It's a surprise! Oh, and one of these days (hopefully sooner than later), when our house is all lovely and we've done all the painting, tweaking, decorating and decluttering, I plan to set up a Saturday crop here!! Oh, and I "MIGHT" even make some homemade lasagna. I'll ask for RSVP's later. :D
It's a surprise! Oh, and one of these days (hopefully sooner than later), when our house is all lovely and we've done all the painting, tweaking, decorating and decluttering, I plan to set up a Saturday crop here!! Oh, and I "MIGHT" even make some homemade lasagna. I'll ask for RSVP's later. :D
Relaxation!
After a dry spell and a bad case of "scrapblock", and a couple of months of not really being able to access my scrappy stuff because my space wasn't functional at all, I finally got to sit down and scrap tonight!
We've moved our office/playroom/scraproom all around so that I can have a scrap area, which is sorta like a cubicle. I can now sit at my desk and watch the children play right in front of me. :) It's great!! We're not quite finished with moving everything around, but I found it absolutely wonderful tonight to be able to sit in my chair and just swivel around to reach all of my things. I even used my new QuicKuts tonight! I've had it for probably six weeks and never used it.
The funny thing about the layout I did tonight was that I've had the papers and colors picked out and in a page kit for months, and when I sat down tonight to actually scrap it, the colors seemed all wrong! So I got this luscious Rob & Bob paper out and found the perfect Bazzill to match it and I love the result. It's got colors I normally don't use together, but I think a bit more orange and brown are in my future. LOL
Here's what I got accomplished tonight:
These photos don't do it justice. I'll upload scanned photos as soon as I get my scanner hooked back up. :)
Text reads: My Twin and I - There is a saying that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. Most people never meet their twin, but it seems that you can almost create a twin by dressing just alike. here, in all their glory are the twins and mini-me's from the Church of God at Westlawn. Spring 2005
We've moved our office/playroom/scraproom all around so that I can have a scrap area, which is sorta like a cubicle. I can now sit at my desk and watch the children play right in front of me. :) It's great!! We're not quite finished with moving everything around, but I found it absolutely wonderful tonight to be able to sit in my chair and just swivel around to reach all of my things. I even used my new QuicKuts tonight! I've had it for probably six weeks and never used it.
The funny thing about the layout I did tonight was that I've had the papers and colors picked out and in a page kit for months, and when I sat down tonight to actually scrap it, the colors seemed all wrong! So I got this luscious Rob & Bob paper out and found the perfect Bazzill to match it and I love the result. It's got colors I normally don't use together, but I think a bit more orange and brown are in my future. LOL
Here's what I got accomplished tonight:
These photos don't do it justice. I'll upload scanned photos as soon as I get my scanner hooked back up. :)
Text reads: My Twin and I - There is a saying that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. Most people never meet their twin, but it seems that you can almost create a twin by dressing just alike. here, in all their glory are the twins and mini-me's from the Church of God at Westlawn. Spring 2005
Monday, July 24, 2006
Sleep? What's that?
Have you ever been so tired you almost forget to breathe? So tired that you get nauseated and your body just seems to want to close in on itself? If so, then you know how I feel.
I've gotten somewhere around 8 or 9 hours of sleep in the past two nights. I don't do well with lack of sleep. My body requires a minimum of 8 hours sleep a night to be able to function and think rationally. It's been virtually impossible lately for me to meet that need. Peter goes to work at a weird time, so I end up staying up far too late, trying to have some "me time". Then I'm back up at 7:20 to get my babies. I don't often get to lay back down, although I wish I could. :(
Last night we were up until almost 3:00 a.m., then got the babies at 7:30 a.m., and we were on the go all day, so no naps for any of us except Mazie. Hopefully tonight, we'll be able to eat supper and go to bed early. That's probably wishful dreaming, since we've got the computer armoire all put together and ready to put in the office. Perhaps my honey can be convinced to wait to move it until tomorrow.
We did enjoy the day and our visit with our Morgan City family. :) Thanks for letting us drop in! :) Always enjoy visiting and spending time with y'all. We also got lots of stuff accomplished that really has been needing to be done, so I suppose the lack of sleep was worth it after all.
I've gotten somewhere around 8 or 9 hours of sleep in the past two nights. I don't do well with lack of sleep. My body requires a minimum of 8 hours sleep a night to be able to function and think rationally. It's been virtually impossible lately for me to meet that need. Peter goes to work at a weird time, so I end up staying up far too late, trying to have some "me time". Then I'm back up at 7:20 to get my babies. I don't often get to lay back down, although I wish I could. :(
Last night we were up until almost 3:00 a.m., then got the babies at 7:30 a.m., and we were on the go all day, so no naps for any of us except Mazie. Hopefully tonight, we'll be able to eat supper and go to bed early. That's probably wishful dreaming, since we've got the computer armoire all put together and ready to put in the office. Perhaps my honey can be convinced to wait to move it until tomorrow.
We did enjoy the day and our visit with our Morgan City family. :) Thanks for letting us drop in! :) Always enjoy visiting and spending time with y'all. We also got lots of stuff accomplished that really has been needing to be done, so I suppose the lack of sleep was worth it after all.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
CMK Blog Challenge
1. Tell Me Why your blog is named what it is.
I wanted something that was out of the ordinary, and when I created my blog, I was very sick, so sick that I didn't really want to be conscious. Therefore, the Other Side of Reality was born. :)
2. Tell me one person you admire as a scrapper/artist and why.
I can't just choose one...
First there's Tanya! She creates some of the most incredible work I've ever seen.
Also Lindsey because her layouts are simply mouthwatering.
Both of these ladies inspire me to keep stepping out of my comfort zone and do new techniques and come up with new ideas.
3. What is one thing you've never tried on a layout or project that you'd like to try? I want to use dimensional glaze or UTEE on a layout. I have both, just haven't used them yet.
4. What is your favorite time of year to scrap and why?
Year round, really. I prefer the Spring, though, if I have to choose. I'm in a slump at the moment and really want to scrap, just don't have the mojo at the moment.
5. List 2 other people's scrappy blogs that you enjoy reading and post a link to them!!
Scrap Etc.
One Page At A Time
I wanted something that was out of the ordinary, and when I created my blog, I was very sick, so sick that I didn't really want to be conscious. Therefore, the Other Side of Reality was born. :)
2. Tell me one person you admire as a scrapper/artist and why.
I can't just choose one...
First there's Tanya! She creates some of the most incredible work I've ever seen.
Also Lindsey because her layouts are simply mouthwatering.
Both of these ladies inspire me to keep stepping out of my comfort zone and do new techniques and come up with new ideas.
3. What is one thing you've never tried on a layout or project that you'd like to try? I want to use dimensional glaze or UTEE on a layout. I have both, just haven't used them yet.
4. What is your favorite time of year to scrap and why?
Year round, really. I prefer the Spring, though, if I have to choose. I'm in a slump at the moment and really want to scrap, just don't have the mojo at the moment.
5. List 2 other people's scrappy blogs that you enjoy reading and post a link to them!!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Murphy's at it again...
Why does it always seem that when there's something special you want to do, something either comes up or happens to keep you from actually doing it? Today, I really wanted to go to a Stampin' Up! show at my friend's house, and I woke up feeling ukky. Headache with nausea, and severe edema in my feet. Eyes are swollen from allergies. Oh, joy. So I spent my day alternating 15 minutes of work in my kitchen at a time and taking a break to put my feet up. Took two naps and STILL have a sick headache. Light makes it hurt worse but I have to see to do the things I have to do.
I am going through scrapbook withdrawals - that's my relaxation and "therapy". It's "me" time and lets me be as creative as my mind wanders and reminisces. Right now my scrap space is really not functional, so we went to buy a computer armoire tonight and as soon as we get it together and get Peter's computer moved over, we'll rearrange the room so that the girls will have more space to play in and I will have a dedicated scrap area. The armoire has a lock on the door, which is a very good thing, considering that I have an 18mo that likes to push buttons and a tiny one that's almost ready to start crawling. Hopefully mid-week next week I'll be able to sit down and actually start working on the piles of photos that I've got stacked up waiting to be scrapped. :) A girl can dream, right?
To totally change the subject: Did you know that if you've got three babies in the same room and one is crying like her heart is broken, it causes a domino effect and you end up with crying in stereo? That happened yesterday. Savannah was here for a couple of hours, and she cried and cried (they woke her up to bring her in), and she woke the baby up, so I brought her in to put her in the swing while I held Savannah. I had to run to the little room so I put Savannah on the floor, and she got more upset, and caused Amber to start crying! Wow - three babies all crying at the same time - NOT fun!! The chaos and clamor woke Hannah up, and she was grumpy. In the midst of it all, my WONDERFUL Mom showed up!! She took Savannah and got her calmed down, and before they left, all three older girls were in the floor playing together. They were SO cute...
Savannah playing with Valerie's (aka Mazie Mo) toys
I was at the computer when I turned around and saw Amber on top of Hannah. I just HAD to get a pic of them! Too cute, huh? :)
I am going through scrapbook withdrawals - that's my relaxation and "therapy". It's "me" time and lets me be as creative as my mind wanders and reminisces. Right now my scrap space is really not functional, so we went to buy a computer armoire tonight and as soon as we get it together and get Peter's computer moved over, we'll rearrange the room so that the girls will have more space to play in and I will have a dedicated scrap area. The armoire has a lock on the door, which is a very good thing, considering that I have an 18mo that likes to push buttons and a tiny one that's almost ready to start crawling. Hopefully mid-week next week I'll be able to sit down and actually start working on the piles of photos that I've got stacked up waiting to be scrapped. :) A girl can dream, right?
To totally change the subject: Did you know that if you've got three babies in the same room and one is crying like her heart is broken, it causes a domino effect and you end up with crying in stereo? That happened yesterday. Savannah was here for a couple of hours, and she cried and cried (they woke her up to bring her in), and she woke the baby up, so I brought her in to put her in the swing while I held Savannah. I had to run to the little room so I put Savannah on the floor, and she got more upset, and caused Amber to start crying! Wow - three babies all crying at the same time - NOT fun!! The chaos and clamor woke Hannah up, and she was grumpy. In the midst of it all, my WONDERFUL Mom showed up!! She took Savannah and got her calmed down, and before they left, all three older girls were in the floor playing together. They were SO cute...
Savannah playing with Valerie's (aka Mazie Mo) toys
I was at the computer when I turned around and saw Amber on top of Hannah. I just HAD to get a pic of them! Too cute, huh? :)
Friday, July 21, 2006
Can
I've seen this on several other blogs, but it's been on my mind all day and I wanted to share it with people who haven't seen it yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg
*disclaimer* some skin showing on this, as the dad is wearing a swim suit. Very touching, though.
Sorta makes you put everything into perspective, doesn't it? To learn more, go to http://www.teamhoyt.com/.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg
*disclaimer* some skin showing on this, as the dad is wearing a swim suit. Very touching, though.
Sorta makes you put everything into perspective, doesn't it? To learn more, go to http://www.teamhoyt.com/.
Happy me!
White Chocolate Mocha
with a shot of caramel syrup and no whip
with a shot of caramel syrup and no whip
+
Starbucks® Blueberry Muffin
=
Total indulgence & complete satisfaction
(Thank you, Peter - you are the bestest!!!)
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Definition of a name...
Ok, I am not sure how happy I am to have been dubbed "Nene" by Hannah, as I decided to Google the definition. Somehow, I was hoping it to be some sort of Aunt or honorary title for a woman, and instead I found this:
ne·ne (nn) KEY NOUN:
A rare wild goose (Branta sandvicensis) of the Hawaiian Islands, having a grayish-brown body with a black face. Also called Hawaiian goose .
ETYMOLOGY: Hawaiian nn, imitative of its cry
I most definately am NOT a goose, however, I would like to think I'm rare. I don't think the world could handle more than one of me. LOL So now we need to work on another name for me. Think it'll ever happen? Nah - guess I'm stuck with it. I'll just have to start acting a bit more goose-y. :D
ne·ne (nn) KEY NOUN:
A rare wild goose (Branta sandvicensis) of the Hawaiian Islands, having a grayish-brown body with a black face. Also called Hawaiian goose .
ETYMOLOGY: Hawaiian nn, imitative of its cry
I most definately am NOT a goose, however, I would like to think I'm rare. I don't think the world could handle more than one of me. LOL So now we need to work on another name for me. Think it'll ever happen? Nah - guess I'm stuck with it. I'll just have to start acting a bit more goose-y. :D
My melted heart
When you're having a tough moment, kids seem to have a peculiar way of knowing just what to do and say to comfort you.
Case in point: Yesterday, Hannah and I were chilling on the couch for a few. I was so tired and just blah - no energy for anything. She came up to me and gave me a hug and said "Nene, I love you. You're my best heart." Now where on earth did THAT come from?? I've never heard anyone other than her say it just that way, and I think it's simply adorable. What could I say back to her, other than "Hannah, I love you, and you're my best heart too"?
What on earth would I do without this wonderful, giving, loving, adorable child in my life? I'm honored to be her "daytime mommy". I am so thankful to have this child in my life!!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Reminder to myself
Although I am tired and lethargic, I am profoundly thankful for many constants in my life. I am blessed so much.
I am thankful for (in no particular order, except #1):
1. The most wonderful husband a woman could ever dream of.
2. A beautiful home - a blank canvas to work on and create a nest for ourselves.
3. Family who loves me, even when we're in disagreement.
4. Three beautiful little girls who spend every day with me - I may get stressed and tired, but they're still my heart.
5. Friends who will listen to me and offer a shoulder to cry on, along with help and encouragement when things get tough.
6. My Mom. I'm thankful that she's still healthy and able to do all the things she does.
7. My sister by choice who allows me to be her child's "Daytime Mommy", and who acknowledges Peter and I as her daughter's other set of parents. And the fact that she appreciates the morals & education that I'm instilling in her child.
8. Creativity. I can take simple materials - paper, photos, adhesive and create a memory on paper to share with those around me.
9. Books: My constant companion since I learned to read at six years old. They go everywhere with me and allow me to escape to far lands and exotic locales without ever leaving my home.
10. Life: By rights, I should have died long ago. I'm thankful that a praying Mom and the Saints never forgot about me, and God allowed me to live and that I'm here today. :)
I am thankful for (in no particular order, except #1):
1. The most wonderful husband a woman could ever dream of.
2. A beautiful home - a blank canvas to work on and create a nest for ourselves.
3. Family who loves me, even when we're in disagreement.
4. Three beautiful little girls who spend every day with me - I may get stressed and tired, but they're still my heart.
5. Friends who will listen to me and offer a shoulder to cry on, along with help and encouragement when things get tough.
6. My Mom. I'm thankful that she's still healthy and able to do all the things she does.
7. My sister by choice who allows me to be her child's "Daytime Mommy", and who acknowledges Peter and I as her daughter's other set of parents. And the fact that she appreciates the morals & education that I'm instilling in her child.
8. Creativity. I can take simple materials - paper, photos, adhesive and create a memory on paper to share with those around me.
9. Books: My constant companion since I learned to read at six years old. They go everywhere with me and allow me to escape to far lands and exotic locales without ever leaving my home.
10. Life: By rights, I should have died long ago. I'm thankful that a praying Mom and the Saints never forgot about me, and God allowed me to live and that I'm here today. :)
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Awakening from a bad dream
Wow, things have turned out so very differently than I had thought. A lot of old memories and feelings were dredged up this afternoon in an intervention session. I've come to realize that life's too short to be miserable, and that I'm profoundly thankful for the wonderful husband that I've been blessed with.
I get to keep my babies, and hopefully will be able to be a blessing and a help while others get their act together. Apparently it's really hard to break old habits and to ask for help when things get tough. We will make it through if we all help each other and work together for the common good.
Those who can pray, please continue to do so. I fear that someone's sanity may lie in the balance, and that is NOT a good place to be in. When thoughts of just saying goodbye to this earth start creeping in, it's a sign that things need to change and in a very definate way. Sometimes you just have to eliminate those factors in your life that cause you to doubt your very existance and reason for being.
I feel loved and appreciated today, and am glad that I can use my past experiences (no matter how much it hurts to relive them through the telling) to help someone else and to let them know that I've been in their shoes. It will get better. :)
I get to keep my babies, and hopefully will be able to be a blessing and a help while others get their act together. Apparently it's really hard to break old habits and to ask for help when things get tough. We will make it through if we all help each other and work together for the common good.
Those who can pray, please continue to do so. I fear that someone's sanity may lie in the balance, and that is NOT a good place to be in. When thoughts of just saying goodbye to this earth start creeping in, it's a sign that things need to change and in a very definate way. Sometimes you just have to eliminate those factors in your life that cause you to doubt your very existance and reason for being.
I feel loved and appreciated today, and am glad that I can use my past experiences (no matter how much it hurts to relive them through the telling) to help someone else and to let them know that I've been in their shoes. It will get better. :)
Sitting on pins & needles
Have you ever had to do something that made you sorta feel sick inside, but made you feel good at the same time because you knew it wass the right thing to do? I did that this morning. I gave a two page letter to someone detailing the changes that need to be made if I'm going to stay in her and her children's lives. It made me queasy, not knowing how the outcome is going to be, but at the same time, it liberated me because I know that no matter how it turns out, I'm doing what I need to do for my health and my family's health. If I'm stressed, I get sick - even now I'm finding it hard to do anything. I can't do very much without having to sit down. I feel the weakness and lethargy creeping in by the day. I do not want to end up in the hospital again, and I feel sure that those around me who love and appreciate me will not allow it to continue, even if I don't have the guts to break the connection. I love the babies, but is the stress worth having them here? Those of you who can pray, please do. I sit here dreading the outcome this evening, and I'm going to be here by myself. Perhaps I can ask my honey to come home for the brief window that she'll be here to pick up her children this afternoon. Don't want to be here alone to catch the fallout. Why do we sit back and allow people who are toxic to our souls to just wallow in our lives and create so much misery? Maybe some day I'll be strong enough to completely cut it off at the pass.
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