A lot has happened in the past few weeks. November 10, I had surgery, which is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm changing daily, and my attitude is completely different. I feel much better about life in general, and my temperament is generally sunny these days. Wow, never saw THAT coming!! :D
After years of trying it on my own, I finally made the life-changing decision to have weight loss surgery. Contrary to my mistaken beliefs, this is NOT the easy way out. It's one of the hardest, most challenging and at times frustrating thing I've ever done. My body has changed in ways I couldn't ever have dreamed. These changes aren't always fun, but are necessary.
The oddest change has been that I am no longer dependant on antidepressant medications. Matter of fact, I'm not on any meds at all anymore. Instead of literally sitting up all night, and sleeping all day, I now go to bed anywhere between 7:30pm and 11:30pm and am up no later than 7:30am EVERY morning. All my life I've been a night owl, and have dealt with insomnia for years, but these issues are thankfully no longer in the equation!! How stinkin' cool is THAT??
I'm down between 60 & 70 lbs from my highest (super depreesed state) back in the summer. I can do really cool things I have NEVER been able to do. I can now sit in my chair with my feet on the floor and my laptop on my LAP!!! That's a REALLY cool first!! My clothes are starting to fall off me, and I've got to start going through clothes that Florabeth gave me to start pulling together a new wardrobe.
I'm hoping to start working out again aftr the first of the year, as soon as my incisions fully heal. My ultimate goal is to buy a Wii and Wii Fit and start using that. It looks like a LOT of fun. I'm looking forward to going walking in my neighborhood, which is something I've never done in the 5 years we've lived here.
The weirdest thing I'm looking forward to doing is cleaning my house. Yep, you heard right. It's been in a continual state of limbo for years now, since I got so anemic a few years ago that I was virtually on death's door. Somehow I never recovered my strength and it's just been here since then. Not good.
I'm hoping to be able to eventually go back to work part time. Not sure what I want to do, but whenever this economic crisis is over, I'd love to go back to college. Maybe something to do with advocacy of some sort. Don't really want to go back to healthcare, but we'll see.
Finally, I haven't shared this news with anyone but my family and close friends, but it's made such a difference in the few short weeks that I feel it's important to share. Maybe it's not for everyone, but my objective is to become healthy, not skinny. It's a tool, a gift I've been given, and if you're leaning toward taking this step, all I can say is to research, research, research. It can truly be the best thing you've ever done for yourself.
Much love to those of you who have been my steady cheerleaders. Thank you - you totally rock! Muahhhhh!!!
At my highest weight, July 2008 - I look miserable.